I wrote a similar question awhile ago, but I still would like some more opinions concerning the issue at hand. Here are the details:
Both my Grandfather (on my Father’s side) and my Dad sued each other over money when I was little. I haven’t seen or spoken to my Grandfather for like 12 years because of what happened. Last Summer, I wanted to reach out to him because I missed him. So without my dad’s knowledge, I contacted my Grandfather and we’ve been occasionally emailing each other back and forth. However, this year I also got something dealing w/ money. My Aunt (dad’s sister) found that there was money left behind in unclaimed property. My grandfather apparently put money underneath my name when I was really young in stocks/mutual funds. Now, I would love to say he did it with the intention for me to have it when I grew older. But my family has been known to hide money under other peoples’ names (whether it’s for tax evasion, etc…i really don’t know). So, together we claimed the money. My aunt and grandfather, however, thought all or at least half was going to go to my Grandfather (if all went to him, he would give me "some"). Well it turns out, I’m entitled to the full amount (a little over 17 thousand dollars) because of some kind of minor protection law. When my aunt found this out, she was upset and asked for me to give all of it to my Grandpa.
Everyone I spoke w/ thought it was kind of odd how I was getting all this pressure from my aunt. I, at the time, thought nothing of it. But when I emailed my Grandfather about the matter, I learned that he had some IRS problems & he borrowed some money from my aunt to handle the situation. So this entire time I felt a little mislead since I was told that this would be a "good thing for me" (when I was approached about it from my aunt). Instead of really having my best interest in mine, it appears that she had her own agenda/incentive.
Now they want to use the money I received in order to pay off their debts. My grandfather sent me a message telling me to give him and my aunt their half (I would keep like ,500). While I’m sympathetic to his situation, I can’t help but think "Why is their debt problems my problem?" I attend the 7th most expensive university in the U.S. Surely I can put this money towards my future (trust me, It won’t last long with my tuition). Also, touching/claiming this money alone is going to negatively impact my financial aid. Moreover, my relationship w/ my dad is unstable to say the least (my dad’s side is a little psycho), so having this security will help me break my dependence on him (I can be kicked out at any time given his uncontrollable, bi-polar-like temper). So if you were me, what would you do?I have to make this difficult decision quick as I keep getting messages about it asking where the money is. They said that they would help me pay for school. But if they can’t even afford to pay 5 thousand dollars without my help, there’s just no way they can afford my schooling. Plus, they’re adults who have their ways of handling their own problems w/o relying on money that has been siting, unclaimed for so long (like selling their assets, etc.). My point being, I feel as if they just don’t want to give up anything they currently have to make up for their lost. So my money is the easy solution to their problem (maybe it’s just my thinking). I’m not one to be greedy, but I’m just confused on what would be the SMART decision. I want to remain on good standings w/ my grandfather, but I also want my security net. Is it wrong to put yourself first?
Thanks for the help!
Casey > I just wanted to add something in my defense. I did put that my family has a tendency to hide money under other peoples’ names. My dad does it all the time w/o having any intention of giving it to the actual person (whose name the money is under). No matter what way you look at it, this is a shady thing to do (since you’re taking advantage of a person who isn’t aware of what’s happening) & contradicts your "moral" responsibility argument.
On another note, I really don’t appreciate your accusations w/ calling me greedy and so forth. This "labeling" can easily be turned around onto the other party. I’m not trying to justify my view, I’m just asking for a little perspective when answering this delicate question. If I gave you ALL the past details of how my Dad side’s sued my mother’s family & took them to court continuously until they lost 150K (and lied for my dad when he was in clear violation of the law), well initial points of view kind of turn a little don’t they? In additi
(continued due to character restraints) > In addition, you don’t think that minor protection law was placed there for a reason? I believe that it was placed there so youths don’t get taken advantage of by others who simply USE their name(s) for underhanded money purposes. My point being, the law isn’t entirely void of basic morals.
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